Exhaustion / Exhalation
Rockville, MD
2024, Senior, Poetry & Spoken Word
After I recovered from an asthma attack,
I thought I was immortal: no limit to my
body temperature, face pale as whitecaps
collapsing onto sandshore. I diagnose
Thursday’s tornado warning as Tuvula’s
last breath and stop using my inhaler, birdsong
wilting away like rainforest green—
endangered colors. How the Rubber Tree falls
in silence and suffocation. This planet is burning
out of air. In Little Hunting Creek, fast food
coupons inside the stomach of a plastic bag.
At Costco, Mama buys wholesale blueberries,
too sore from bending into heating curves.
We remember how she used to name tomatoes
by their size— taiyang , sun, sweet privilege of
a balanced meal. Flower pots paint our balcony,
and I just want another midday snack, strawberries
in my hands, every seed to seed, first touch of juice
and juice, from fruit to flower. I want something that lasts
longer than the lifespan of kerosene, like Giant Penguins
and Wakatobi Sunbirds and even apple cores
in compost bins. I want healing to grow from this soil,
gardens sleeping in school classrooms, playgrounds,
raised medians—seedlings. Before loss is synonymous
to this memory of first snowfall, I will meditate
as the ocean closes its eyes—deep breathing.
Translations:
taiyang – sun
Reflection
When I think about climate change, I’m reminded of how all the biodiversity, natural landscapes, and atmosphere is in our hands. My most precious memories come from the treasures of this planet—morning hikes, swimming in lake holes, and skiing down the mountains. Taking care of the Earth, the oceans, the forests around us is similar to caring for our wellbeing and mental health. I wanted to express the urgency that our climate change journey and story is a part of our everyday lives and actions—it lies in every meal. It’s found in the greenery of our neighborhoods, the bird’s nest beside the tree, and our water bottles. Passionate in advocating for incorporating efficient food waste systems and healthy food diets, I’m grateful to use poetry as a medium of expressing my most vulnerable and meaningful relationships, moments, and emotion of living. By growing a more sustainable world, we are guiding our bodies and the Earth’s atmosphere to recovery—we will glow green.