To the One I Love
Irvine, CA
2015, Senior, Poetry & Spoken Word
To The One I Love,
I love you.
Nothing will ever compare
to the love I have been feeling
since the first day I saw you.
My heart has always belonged
and my mind has always reverted
to the refuge inside your heart.
You accepted my insecurities
and turned them into my strengths
You held me when I was torn
and re-assembled the pieces
You quenched my undying thirst
and drenched my angers
You took my fears away
and offered love instead
I lived off your compliments
and depended on your presents
I told my family about you
and their laughters filled the room
I told my friends about you
and their poisonous envy lurked around
I told Jenna about you
and she beamed with amazement
Those summers were my best ones
When I took Jenna to meet you
She honked joyfully
making loops with her smoke
and running around with her oil
You smiled and laughed
As if nothing was hurting you
Little did I know
That while my summers ripened with glee,
your winters deteriorated your heart
That while I stood alongside the cliff,
you were holding me from underneath
That while my pleasures echoed,
your ears bled with shrieks
That while I sought to feel alive,
your brothers slowly died next to you.
When you told me you were sick
I was busy drinking your water
When you told me you were hurt
I was busy spilling my food
And when you told me you were okay
I stared at you until the moon rose
And you just smiled.
That one sleepless summer night
I turned my lights on and thought
How much does one have to love
to offer so much, yet expect
nothing, nothing at all?
I walked towards your home
Where you lied with your eyes closed
I took your hands into mine
and saw the spots on them
Countless amounts of little black spots
Consuming, feasting, devouring
Every single piece of your body
The solid, insoluble substance smirked at me
with its bloodcurdling red teeth
I tried scraping it off your hand
I tried scooping it off
I tried smudging the patterns
I tried rubbing with soap
I tried tearing and biting it off
Until I realized that it was me who had been doing it all along.
You woke up in surprise and saw
Sighing, you held me in your arms
You caressed me with bloody hands
You wiped my tears off with your blood
And whispered, ‘It’s alright.’
That night I wet your bed with tears
Which you dried with your breeze
I vowed to myself
To protect you forever
To love you like you do to me
To help you around with your illness
I promised not to hurt you
But here I am, repeating myself
An endless loop of sorrow
with a circumference of your forgiveness
As I close my eyes and listen
to the whispers you tell me
You tell me you’ll be alright
Yet your voice trembles with fear
But isn’t it so odd
That despite everything,
Despite your look of despair
Despite your lifeless stare,
You are still as beautiful
As you were on the first day
Isn’t it so wrong
For me to see you like this
Yet hide into the shadows
And make sure I’m safe first
My heart tells me it’s you
But my brain tells me otherwise
As I reach deep down from the sky
I look at you to catch me where I fall
Within the meters of your intoxicated heart
I reach down to embrace it
And whisper,
“I will protect you.”
Your lullabies and waves,
Your beauty and scenery,
Your kisses and water,
Your brothers and animals,
Your embrace and food,
Your scent and air,
I depend on every single aspect of you,
but so does your illness.
Here I stand, where you can reach
Whenever you need my help
I will find a cure for you
And strive to do what you did to me
And love you until my last day.
I love you.
Yours forever,
Mankind
Reflection
Reflection
One of the most heartbreaking types of any kind of relationship is where both sides have a strong passion toward each other but are unable to develop their feelings, because it hurts one or the other. No matter what each side strives to do, there is nothing they can do but go back to their own paths. Before I carefully reflected on what kind of feeling I wanted my writing to portray, I thought of the relationship we, as human beings, currently have with the ocean, rather than presenting mere single- use facts. Quite interestingly, this analogy perfectly matched the mood I was looking for. As I worked on writing and structuring my poem, I thought of a letter that would match the depressing, agonizing mood so the reader could sympathize and undergo an emotional trip, in which he or she comes to realize a heartbreaking, pitiful love story. Personally, I view the destruction of our oceans as something irreversible yet possible to change. Just like the “turn” in the poem itself, I dream of a future in which we turn to cure the ocean and help it rise from its mortal disease. In order for that to happen, however, we will need to spread awareness by applying such problem into more relatable, familiar terms. I hope this poem helps out with the process.