Carmine Solitude
Seoul, Republic of Korea
2024, Senior, Poetry & Spoken Word
There is only me now.
Leeching the lonely
soil. Making it thirst.
Pounding belts of sun
rake across me. Tender
piano-fingers of rain
caught in my teeth. Centuries
back, a field of us
knotted in the soil. The sun
dangled over the horizon
just to watch us wake,
the leaves caught whispers.
Now I’m the only wet kiss on the gray Earth.
My fear keeps me alive, but kills
everything I know.
Seeds of fear.
Can’t stop multiplying.
Curl over myself. Knock at ground.
Try to nustle back in. I spit color.
Congealed pink gushes
down my stem, shimmies
to cracked crust,
stains fuschia. My hands don’t run red.
I let my wounds sputter.
No answer.
Reflection
Visiting Jeju Island, an island in South Korea has become a treasured family tradition that I mark on my calendars each year. Within Jeju Island, I had a favorite spot that I always returned to; a dainty patch of the most beautiful, vibrant pink hydrangeas that were located next to a cozy cafe. However, during my visit last year, I was heartbroken to discover the flowers all wilted, most of them were brown and decaying. With a bit of inquiry, I soon learned that the deteriorating soil conditions and the increase in temperature and rain due to global warming had rendered the environment inhospitable for the blooms. Witnessing the tangible havoc climate change had brought upon the flower patches struck fear to my heart as it forced me to confront the reality I had been willing to be untrue. The profound despair I felt of losing something that had been so much of a valuable memory to me evoked me to express my grief down on paper, but I felt a peculiar guilt of trying to articulate the lives of the flowers through the perspective of someone who, like all humans, has contributed to the very climate change responsible for their suffering. Instead, I tried to imagine what it would have been like for the flowers in their last moments, especially the final flower who was left standing as climate change caused by humans ravaged them. Through the writing of my poem, I was able to comprehend the very harm we had been inflicting senselessly indiscriminately across nature which I had shied away from thinking about before, fearful that my reflection on the consequences of climate change would lead to the discovery of the true extent of how much humans had wrecked the planet, and how very real the hundreds of statistics that glared at me from billboards, headlines and instagram posts actually were. I wish for my readers, who may share similar concerns or fears, to be able to place themselves in the shoes of such defenseless organisms, as I believe in the end, it will be our unique weapon, empathy, which will be able to catalyze change.