The Phyto for Our Lives
Belmont, MA
2022, Junior, Creative Writing
“Nitrate salad for table six,” Phillys said, as she handed the plate to a nearby waiter. “I haven’t made my nutrient nachos yet.”
She pushed him out of the kitchen and said, “Come back when you’re done. I love having customers scream at me for giving them their food late.”
Everyone who came to La Carbona Diona ordered a serving of Phillys’ nachos; it was her restaurant’s specialty dish. Phillys’ ancestors first opened business ten years ago, off the coast of Dundee Island, Antarctica. Thousands of generations of phytoplankton have kept the business moving since then. Phillys was head chef; her brothers and sisters worked at La Carbona Diona as servers.
Customers heard a scream from the kitchen. Phillys yelled, “Emergency!” Waiters rushed to her side as fast as they could. Five minutes later, they floated through the door.
“You took forever,” Phillys groaned.
A worker replied, “The currents aren’t strong today, ma’am. If we could swim, we totally would.”
“Don’t sass me,” she wiggled with anger. “The emergency is that I’ve run out of nutrients. No calcium, no silicate, nothing. I may have three-fourths of a bowl of nachos but am four-fourths sure that if I can’t serve food, La Carbona Diona goes out of business.”
Everyone was thinking the same thing. What would they do if the restaurant shut down? No one wanted to face the customers. They all looked at each other in silence. “Oh, I’ll do it, fright-o-plankton,” Phillys said.
Phillys looked around outside her restaurant the next day and tried to look for nutrients. Thirty minutes of searching exhausted her. She glanced at the amount of ingredients collected. Can’t even feed my ego, Phillys thought.
“I probably could’ve found more if it wasn’t so hot,” she grumbled. Phillys glared at the blue landscape. The ocean seemed to stare back.
“Are you trying to make me lose my job?” Phillys said to no one.
A blue whale swam by and dumped a load of poop next to her. The rusty-colored cloud swirled in all directions.
“This has to be the worst day ever.”
She started to head to La Carbona Diona, but an incoming current threw Phillys backwards, straight into the whale poop. She screamed, thrashing and flipping about. Phillys wanted to explode. She had eaten whale poop. Taking a moment to calm down, she let out a big bubble of oxygen.
“That didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would. It was actually—” Phillys paused. “Good?”
She gasped as she realized that iron was what gave it flavor. Mix it with some carbon dioxide, and that’s a new dish. It won’t taste bad, I hope. She sighed and took a sample of poop with her. Carbon dioxide is the only ingredient I’ve got plenty of right now.
“Look at me, saving the business. All in a day’s work.”
Back at her restaurant, she explained everything to her siblings.
“We’re going to need some amazing marketing if we want to get phytoplankton to eat poop, even if it’s only iron,” a waiter said.
“Two words: you’re crazy,” replied another.
Phillys told them she could prove it. She rolled around the kitchen to turn on the stove, prepare seasonings, and measure ingredients. All her energy was focused on producing a delicious product.
“Culinary skills, don’t fail me now,” Phillys whispered.
An hour later, she yelled “Done!”
A phytoplankton shouted, “I’m awake!” Everyone laughed.
“I call it poopernickel bread,” Phillys declared.
Her brothers and sisters passed the food around, deep in thought. Murmurs of approval spread. Every part of Phillys’ body language said “I told you so.”
“Are we all in agreement? Good. I want you all here tomorrow. We got customers to serve.” She shooed them out of the kitchen.
One phytoplankton stayed behind. “Ma’am, are you sure that the whales are a stable source of iron? What if something happens to them?” he asked.
“Stop being such a party pooper,” Phillys chuckled at her joke. “I was just about to celebrate my victory.”
She took a look at his not-amused face and stopped. After a pause, Phillys said, “I’m not sure what to do, but you’re right. We don’t want the whales to go extinct. They’re the only thing keeping us alive.”
Reflection
Reflection
This competition made me think hard about how I could turn climate change—a serious topic—into a humorous story. Finding original, yet quirky characters made me do significant research. I learned that phytoplankton store carbon dioxide and are important allies in the battle against climate change. My writing coach guided me through different techniques, such as irony, to create funnier dialogue. I hope my story gives readers a laugh while also encouraging them to become more climate-conscious.